Facing my diabetes fear head-on

What are you most fearful when it comes to diabetes and managing it?

One might think that the fear of diabetes complications would be on top of any list, but I have no fear of diabetes complications. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have been lucky enough to not encounter these devastating . Maybe if I was able to come into contact with someone who -- God forbid -- has had a limb amputated due to diabetes complications, then I would be more fearful.

Hubris makes me say I have been good at managing my diabetes, but who is to say that I haven't been both good and lucky to avoid complications so far.

My greatest diabetes fear

What am I most afraid of when it comes to diabetes then? It's simple: low blood sugars.

I understand there happens to be what many would consider more serious fears associated with diabetes, including complications, losing health benefits or dealing with daily stigmas we face as PWDs.

Yes, these are very real and serious diabetes fears. But, I judge my fears of diabetes based on the level of impact they lave in their wake, and low blood sugar episodes are by far the worst experience I have with diabetes. A low blood sugar episode for me can simply be described as being struck in the gut with a sledge hammer and in those 15 minutes or so it takes to treat it I am hopelessly powerless.

Sweats, blurry vision, shaking, cotton mouth, nausea, disorientation and weakness all add up to a very scary experience, which I hope and pray to never live through again. Until the next one…that is.

What makes it worse is that no matter how hard I try to limit these episodes, the unpredictable nature of diabetes means that I cannot eliminate them completely unlike some the other more serious fears. While I might not let this fear consume me, otherwise I would not be able to function. It does make me very vigilant to managing my diabetes correctly in the hope of mitigating the episodes.